Five Simple Rules for Happiness

I found this on Pinterest and loved the simplicity of it. 

1. Free your heart from hatred. 


2. Free your mind from worries. 


3. Live Simply.


4. Give More.


5. Expect Less.

Quest for Healthy AND Happy

I saw this sign while I was at the YMCA...

This got me thinking about the definition of healthy and how it relates to our happiness.What comes to your  mind when people say the word "health"? Common responses might be:
- eating the right foods like fruits and vegetables
- running, lifting weights & all forms of exercise
- body mass index, fat percentage
- losing weight
- essential vitamins

In general, when people hear the word "healthy," they most likely think of some combination of diet, exercise, and that "ideal" body they are striving for. But in actuality, it means so much more than that.

The World Health Organization defines health as "a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being." They describe determinants of health as culture, genetics, working conditions, social support, physical environment, education, personal relationships and lifestyle practices. Health is a combination of everything around us, not just the physical state of our bodies.

I came to the conclusion that in order to really be healthy, we must also be happy. They should be one in the same. Despite what the percentile charts, BMI index graphs and doctors say, I don't think there is one ideal that fits all people. I think there are healthy habits and lifestyle choices, but people need to find the balance that fits who they are.

I look back to the summer of 2010, when I spent 6 days a week training for my marathon. I was running 5, 10, 15, 20 miles at a time. The exercise was great for my muscles, lungs, and heart, but it got to the point that I was miserable. My body ached, I was injured several times, I had never felt such physical pain in my life. I devoted so much time to running, that I didn't have much time for anything else. Instead of a fun way to relieve stress and enjoy nature, it became a dreaded ritual that I forced my body to complete. I will never say I regret running a marathon, because I was SO proud to accomplish that goal. But I can 99.9% guarantee you that it was the last marathon I will ever run. By some standards, I was at a peak of physical health, but it didn't feel that way because my mental and social health were being neglected. My personal sense of happiness was not being fulfilled. Through this experience, I realized that I am not a "marathon-runner." I did not get addicted to the "runner's high" (in fact, I never once felt it), and after crossing the finish line, I didn't run another mile for about 5 months. And I was completely happy about it.

In contrast, there are people who run multiple marathons every year. They have a passion for running long distances and they don't feel complete without it. This is their sense of health and happiness and it works for them. I admire their dedication, but I do not desire their lifestyle. It just doesn't work for me.

Have you ever seen those super skinny, crazy-fit people at the gym? They count their calories every second and exercise religiously for an hour or more each day. I used to envy them...until I turned into one. In the spring of 2006, my quest for health (and dream of being a model) quickly became an obsession. Food was no longer a source of happiness, but my enemy. I went from a size 6 to a 00 and lost 40 pounds over a 3-month time period. That's a lot for a girl who is 5'7 and started at 137. I compared myself to every photoshopped image in the media and I associated happiness with losing weight. I had this twisted idea that if I could only lose a few more pounds, then I would be happy. But this cycle was addictive and it consumed my life. Even at 97 pounds, I hated my body.

I ate fruits and vegetables, protein and whole grains, drank lots of water and exercised regularly. According to Shape Magazine, I was the picture-perfect ideal of "healthy." But it was a lie. I spent every second of every day obsessing over calories and exercise plans. I became distant from friends and family, because they didn't understand me. They didn't support my quest for health and looked worried all the time instead of being proud of my accomplishments. I lost focus in school, sports, and work, because my only purpose in life revolved around my body. I became self-centered and turned into a dark, depressed person I could barely recognize. Despite how I tried to convince myself, this quest for "health" did not bring me happiness.

Obviously, my story is an extreme example. But in contrast, there are people who are crazy health-nuts who eat dessert once a year and live on celery and bran flakes. And yes, even though it's hard to believe, they are happy. Some people are genuinely happy with their ultra healthy, organic lifestyle. Again, I admire their commitment, but I know it's not for me. I know that I get obsessive and restrictive if I am too controlling with my diet.

Over the past few years, I think I finally learned how to understand my body and my needs. When I'm hungry, I eat, when I'm full, I stop. When I'm craving something sweet, I have a small snack. But when I'm sad, I don't reach for the ice cream anymore, I write in my journal. When I'm depressed, I don't get a bag of chips, I read or call a friend. I just needed to learn how to differentiate the messages that came from my body, my mind and my emotions. If I just listen, instead of control, I am happy and content. I think that is what truly being healthy is all about. It's not about trying to change your body to fit some unrealistic ideal body type, it's not about trying to fit between the hashes on the doctor's health-chart, it's just learning to be happy with who you are.

I really love the organization Beauty Redefined, because they are so good at putting my jumble of thoughts and feelings into brilliant academic papers and articles. They are such a positive inspiration for the world. They've been under attack recently and accused for "promoting obesity." Some people might say the same thing about this post. So I want to clarify - I'm not saying we should satisfy every craving, or stop exercising because watching TV makes us happier. The message I want to convey is we should focus less on trying so hard to fit the world's ideals and just enjoy life, and love who we are, because there is more to being "healthy" then the numbers on a scale.

I think the greatest way to understand this concept is to think of your best friend, your sister, someone extremely close to you. Do you think you would love her more, or be happier if she was skinnier? Would you dislike her if she gained 5 pounds around Christmas time? Do you think negative thoughts about her if she only exercised once this week? Would you punish her if she ate too many desserts? These questions sound a little ridiculous, right? Of course we would love our friends, our mothers, our sisters, no matter what. We love them for who they are, not their physical appearance. Well shouldn't we treat ourselves the same? I know people are naturally more critical of themselves, but I hope we can all learn to love ourselves and be kind to ourselves, regardless of the body we are in.

I think once you can do this, once you can truly love every part of yourself and place your value on who you are as a person, your quest to be healthy AND happy will be complete.

Comparison Leads Nowhere

I have been blaming my feelings lately on my "innate human nature"...

Are humans born being jealous? Do people just naturally want what other people have? Is there some way to PREVENT ourselves from constantly comparing our lives to the lives of those around us?

Maybe this is just my weakness that I must keep trying to overcome on a daily basis.

I have come to some conclusions though...

1. Other people will always seem happier, prettier, luckier, skinnier and more in love.

2. Lives are a lot deeper than what they appear. We all have our battles that most often aren't shared with the world through a profile picture or a smile at church. Other people may seem flawless, like they have the perfect life... but that is false. No one does.

3. Sometimes my thoughts are accurate. Other people are "better off" than me. There will be always be people who are prettier, have more money and live "better" than me. That's life, but that doesn't mean it has to affect my happiness.

4. What I need to remember is: there are also millions of people who are less fortunate than me, who would give anything just to have food, a home, a job, and a family who loves them.

So.... I really, desperately want to STOP this whole comparing thing completely. I just want it to go away. I want to be more grateful for my life and the people in it. I wrote this letter to myself in the car last week and I think I should read it often:

Hey Natalie,


Stop wishing you had the life of someone else. Just stop. You were given YOUR life for a reason; to both enjoy it and conquer it. You will have battles. But so does everyone else. Instead of wishing life away, focus on improving yourself. You were destined, and called by God, to be YOU. He doesn't make mistakes. Everything that happens is part of his plan. Your life is a gift; don't let him down by being ungrateful. Don't waste these precious years of your life wishing you could be someone else.


No one can replace you. You have a purpose in this life that no one can fulfill but you. Please just recognize your own beauty, your own talents, your infinite number of blessings all around you. Embrace your life, accept your trials and challenges, and choose to be happy, just being you.


This whole comparing thing? It does nothing but bring sadness, darkness and envy. It does absolutely NO good. So why let it be a part of your life? Start being happy for yourself, happy for other people and let go of all that negativity. The point of all this is simple, really. Be grateful, be charitable, and love your life... You will be filled with a genuine happiness that brings love, freedom and peace.